Editorial

21 October 2007

Greetings,

I'm reminded that despite the current glorious weather and ambient temperatures, in Sussex and Hampshire at least, we reach the end of British Summer Time next weekend. Love or hate it, the clocks will be put back in the early hours of Sunday morning and autumn will have arrived. It's the time of misty mornings that hold a strange sense of mystery, amazingly colourful sunsets, trees offering us a breathtaking palette of reds, bronzes and golds, chestnuts tasting almost as good dry roasted in a pan on the hob as on an open fire, comforting hot ginger wine, bonfires, the searching out of good books, music and DVD's and anything else that helps us make the transition.

In our widowed state, a change of season also represents a further stage in our single status and we may find it unsettling, reviving memories, highlighting our sense of loss, sending us scurrying indoors to avoid the very companionship from others that we need and generally going to ground. But, like all stages of grief, it's so much easier to handle when we plan ahead, avoiding being alone on significant days, searching out a new activity or something we always planned to do but never quite got around to, planning to visit or entertain friends and probably most importantly taking attention away from our own loss by going out and doing something for someone else. Some of our Breakfast Club members, whilst not personally anticipating with great enthusiasm the season of Christmas, have nonetheless willingly thrown themselves into putting together Christmas shoe boxes for Link Romania (www.linkromania.co.uk/appeal%20letter.htm) to be opened by desperately poor families in Eastern Europe on Christmas Day. Others have decided to take up voluntary work in the local community and will be contacting their local Council for Voluntary Service (www.nacvs.org.uk/cvsdir/).

On a personal note, I continue to stay several nights a week with family or friends and it's a joy to be spending so much more quality time with them than ever I did when living close by. We share meals, TV programmes, DVD's or music, borrow each other's books, discuss concerns or happy events and are generally 'there' for each other. I wonder if, regardless of living in close proximity, it might be possible to exchange B&B and evening meals with other widowed friends on a regular basis. It would remove any concern about going out/driving home/entering an empty house after dark; each would have an opportunity to cook for and share a meal with a friend and there would be all the other pleasures and benefits previously mentioned. Think about it - then why not do it!!!

Finally, my personal challenge for the week is to take myself off, partnerless, to a local ballroom dancing evening! I'll give you a report back next time.

Jacquie