Welcome to the Sunday Scene

30 May 2007

The wet, windy and chilly Bank Holiday weekend kept me indoors instead of working in the garden. Having made no other plans, and determined not to mope, I turned my attention to yet another clear-out of cupboards and drawers, and to my amazement, discovered a collection of family photographs I’d thought never to see again. Convinced I must have accidentally thrown the photos out, soon after my husband died, it was like finding an old friend with whom I could happily reminisce for a couple of hours.

Another day I had a great time wandering purposefully and under cover, between rows of plants at a local nursery plant sale and arrived home with a much coveted willow, Salix Flamingo, along with Canterbury Bells, lavenders, delphinium, rosemary, phlox and the most beautiful summer sky blue flowered Penstemons.  

During the first summer of widowhood, I threw myself into gardening from dawn to dusk, but in the second year, like so many other widowed people I meet, interest waned and I did little more than unwillingly wield a much too heavy lawn mower and try to keep the weeds under control. However, this spring has seen me replacing the lawn mower all by myself (well I did have a little techi help from a very knowledgeable young salesman), clearing and turfing a border, dismantling the pond, starting to build a gravel path and generally taking an interest in the garden again.  Now able to look ahead, I even have a packet of pumpkin seeds to sow in preparation for a gorgeous display of ripe fruits around Hallow’een!

This latest round of activity is all to do with recognising that because there is generally so much to do oneself, life has to become easier to manage.  This applies to our gardens, homes, activities and other commitments or responsibilities. It takes time to come to terms with our changed circumstances and to find the will to adapt, but little by little we find our way forward and begin to change things to suit ourselves. My dear husband and I never agreed on pruning, he liking things rampant and I preferring a little more order but oh boy, have I had a good time with the secateurs this spring!

There’s no yardstick to measure how long it will take for us to be ready to make changes because we all move through widowhood at our own pace, but when  the time comes, it can be so empowering to think creative thoughts and however small or large the project, bring them to reality in whatever way we choose.

I wonder what changes you’ll you make this summer!

Jacquie