The Widower’s Journal

Journal or poetry or prose writing is probably one of the very best ways for working through the grief of bereavement, for through those mediums we can better begin to explore and understand our emotions and behaviour. We don’t need to be gifted writers and unless we choose to share our innermost thoughts, nobody else is likely to see what we’ve written. We can recall precious memories, write down things we wish we’d said to our partner, observe and record any difficulties we’ve come up against or any feelings of negativity such as anger, guilt, resentment or frustration and also note how we’ve coped with them. Coping is part of the way we learn to become independent, begin to regain our confidence and self-esteem and start coming to come to terms with our singlehood.

Similarly we might choose to make a scrapbook of the life we enjoyed with our partner. Browsing through old photos, mementos, letters or cards will revive many memories, whilst arranging them creatively and in chronological order can add a new and absorbing dimension with which to work through our grief and aloneness. It’s also a good opportunity to go through those countless packets of photos and negatives we tend to accumulate and just keep the best ones.

Spending an hour or so before bedtime or first thing in the morning writing our jottings or doing a bit of cutting, sticking and pasting into an albumn can help ease our minds, aiding a better night’s sleep or giving us a more positive start to a new day.

Inevitably, as we begin to pick up the threads of life again and start taking up old or new interests, our journal outpourings will become less frequent and we’ll perhaps make an entry or paste in a few more photos just occasionally and then not at all. At this point it’s interesting to read through our earlier efforts to discover how life has changed since those earlier days of widow or widowerhood. You’ll be amazed at how much progress you’ll have made!